


Tubbovision

by KurasuYuro



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Sitcom, TommyInnit is Not Okay (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29819961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurasuYuro/pseuds/KurasuYuro
Summary: A newly wed couple just moved to town!A pair of platonic husbands!Who left the big city, to find a quiet life!A lovely duo!He's a magical lad, in a small town local!Hes a hubby who's half a mob!How will this duo fit in an pull through?All while sharing a love, that you've never seen!Tubbovision!
Relationships: Floris | Fundy/5up, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	1. Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience

**Author's Note:**

> This is all strictly platonic.  
> Some may notice this is a Wandavision au. It may look similar for now but I assure you I have changed the story.

A newly wed couple just moved to town!

A pair of platonic husbands!

Who left the big city, to find a quiet life!

A lovely duo!

He's a magical lad, in a small town local!

Hes a hubby who's half a mob!

How will this duo fit in an pull through?

All while sharing a love, that you've never seen!

Tubbovision!

The camera pans into a small brunette boy, waving his hands around a kitchen. As he does, saucers and cups fly around the room, being dried against towels. He seems to be content in his activity. The room entirely black and white along with the boy himself. 

Behind him, a tall boy walks into the kitchen, his face halfed in black and white, easy to see in the monochromatic world. He seems to not realise the smaller boy and walks forward, a saucer smashing on his head as it flew towards a shelf.

He tilts his head up. "My husband and his flying saucers."

Tubbo grins, "My husband and his indestructible head."

HAHAHAHAHA! 

"Aren't we a fine pair?" Ranboo leans down kisses the shorter boy on the cheek.

The plate on the floor fixes itself and lands on the shelf as Tubbo starts walking over to the fridge. "What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squized orange juice, and black coffee?"

"I say, oh I don't need to eat."

HAHAHAHAHA!

"Well that explains the emtpy refrigerator!"

The audience chuckles again.

"Tubbo?"

"Hm?" 

"Is there something special about today?"

The shorter boy walks over to his husband. "Well, I know the apron is a bit much but I was hoping to look fancy for my beloved Boo today."

The audience chuckles with Ranboo as the ender boy blushes slightly. 

"Not what I mean silly." he plants his hands on Tubbos shoulders and faces him towards the calender. "There's a heart above today's date."

Tubbo turns his attention to the day and notices it too. 

"Oh yes the heart! Well don't tell me that you've forgotten Boo."

"Forgotten? Oh Tubbo I may have bad memory but I'm well known for remembering big events."

His husband stares at him blankly. 

HAHAHAHAHA!

"Well, then tell me what's so important about today's date."

Ranboo purses his lips and stares at the calender before turning his gaze back down to Tubbo. "What was the question again? Oh darling, perhaps you've forgotten yourself."

"Me? Oh I'm shocked! I've been looking rather forward to it!"

"As have I. Today, we are celebrating...." 

"You bet we are. Its the first time we've ever celebrated this occasion before...." 

"It's a special day."

"Perhaps an evening."

"Of great significance-"

"To us both-"

"Naturally." the taller boy smiles and rests his head against his platonic husbands for a few minutes. "Well done us."

"Oh, Boo! You better be getting to work it's getting to that time!"

"Oh you're very right" the boy shakes his head, his enderman features becoming much more human as Tubbo puts a hat on his head, adjusting it on the taller boys head. "See you later, and Tubbo, do try not to break any more saucers. Love you!" 

"Love you too."

The audience coos. 

As his platonic husband closes the door, Tubbo walks over to the calender, glancing at the heart. Tilting his head slightly to look at it. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

Tubbo seems to frantically walks into the living room and opens the door to see a boy his age standing outside. He's dressed in an odd checkered suit and a broch on his collar. A potted plant in his hands.

"Hello, dear. I'm Jack, your neighbour to the right. My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping in sooner to welcome you to the block, my mother in law was in town, so I wasn't."

HAHAHAHAHA!

Tubbo stands back and the boy walks in, handing Tubbo the potted plant as the short boy awkwardly closes the door. 

Jack immediately begins with questions. "So, what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly, how's your bridge game, hon?"

"I'm Tubbo." the boy awkward holds his hand out.

"Tubbo. Charmed." the boy shakes it. "Golly, you settled in fast! Did you use a moving company?"

"I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves."

HAHAHAHAHA!

"So what's a single lad like you doing rattling around this big house?"

"Oh, no, I'm not single."

"Oh, I don't see a ring."

Tubbo seems to briefly glance down in confusion at his hand. "Well, I assure you I'm married. To a man. A human one and tall. As a matter of fact he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion, just the two of us."

"Oh, is it somebody's birthday?"

"Not a birthday."

"Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?"

"No, it's not a holiday."

"Oh, an anniversary then?"

"Ye-yeeees. Yes! It's our anniversary!"

"Oh, how marvelous! How many years?" 

Tubbo visibly pauses from Jacks question. "W-Well it feels like we've been together our whole life."

"Lucky gal. The only way Grace would remember our anniversary was if there was a beer named June 2nd."

The audience and Tubbo laugh. 

"So, what do you have planned?"

"How do you mean?"

"For your special night. A young thing like you doesn't have to do much, but it's still fun to try. Say, I was reading this crackerjack magazine article called 'How to treat your husband to keep your husband' and lemme tell you what Grace could really use is, "How to goose your husband so you don't lose your husband." 

Tubbo smiles up and him and shakes his head. 

"I'll go get it so we can start planning, oh this is gonna be a gas!" Jack proceeds to walk out the door and shut it neatly behind himself. 

The scene changes, in an odd transition. Shifting to the perspective of Ranboo sitting at a desk in his workplace, speeding through a pile of papers while Yakety Yak plays. 

Ranboo stands up and walks over to the man next to him. "Here are those computational forms that you wanted delivered Dan." he waddles over with a giant pile of papers and flops it on the man's desk. "There you go." 

"Gee willickers that was fast!" 

The audience chuckles again. 

"Hey, the music isn't bothering you, is it, pal?" 

"In terms of distraction from work or the very odd lyrics that mean absolutely nothing?" 

"The first one." 

"Ah, no, thank you." 

The man stands up from his desk, about a head shorter than Ranboo. "Is there anything I can help you with buddy?" 

"Oh well actually, would you be able to tell me what it is we actually do here? Do we make something?" 

"No." 

"Right, do we buy or sell something?"

"No and no." 

"Then, what is the purpose of this company?" 

"All I know is that since you've gotten here, the productivity has gone up 300%." 

"Yes, but what is it we're producing?" 

"Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do pal, you're a genius!"

Ranboo blushes at the compliment, the audience cooing. 

"T-thank you. But I really oughta deny that." 

"Why's that bud?" 

"Well you see it appears there's something special about today, special to Tubbo, that's my husband. Well, I can't for the life of me remember what it is." 

Dan seems to quirk his head to the side, considering for a moment. As he does the door labelled "Hart" opens and a lanky man walks out. A suit and tie put on neatly. A man walks out to the side of him to, thanking him as he goes out. 

"Thanks again Fundy." 

"Good to see you. Ranboo." 

The boy startles and turns. "Yes sir?" 

"My partner and I are looking forward to this evening."

Ranboo leans back, shock evident. "Mr Hart of course!" the audience gasps "Dinner with Mr Hart and his dear partner." 

"Yes, that's what I just said, you got a screw loose?" 

"Oh no sir, screw is all there and tightened sir." 

"I should hope so, you're an enterprising young man Ranboo but I expect you keep yourself proper. Employee dinners are a right of passage for the new hires." 

"I see sir." 

"Connor over there failed miserably. Isn't that right Connor?" 

Another young man with a suit walks out of the door, a box in hand filled with a plant and some belongings. 

"The wife thought five courses would be sufficient."

"Then there was that horrible excuse for entertainment."

"A string quartet?"

"And then that embarrassing display of an immature man's sense of style."

"I wore a turtleneck."

The audience giggles.

"Best of luck out there in the unemployment line Connor."

"No skeletons in your closet aye Ranboo?"

Ranboo visibly pauses. "I don't think I have a skeleton sir."

"Glad to hear it. The future of you in this company depends on it."

The man walks back into his office as Ranboo visibly pales and looks a bit exhausted.

The screen transitions again to the outside of the young couples home. Before panning into the house as Jack's voice cuts in.

"You don't have a song? Nothing special you played at your wedding?"

"No, nothing special."

"I'll loan you some records then, this man sounds like he'd enjoy some."

"Thank you."

"So we have music covered, decor, wardrobe. Oh! What about flirting techniques?"

"Oh I have those!"

"Of course dear."

Tubbo shuffles a bit. "Just out of curiosity though what does it say?"

"That you should stumble when you walk into a room so he can catch you. It's adorable! "

Tubbo shuffles closer, scrambling into a notebook. "Do you think there'd be any more specifically pertaining to making him laugh."

"You could point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men."

Tubbo grins. "Now that's romantic."

The boys laugh and Jack goes to say something when the phone rings.

Tubbo picks it up as Jack picks up his glass of wine he'd poured himself.

"The Boo residence?" Tubbo calls.

The camera pans back to Vision. "Tubbo, darling." then back to Tubbo smiling. "Ranboo, sweetheart."

The camera pans back as Ranboo blushes a bit. "Come on, I thought we said you'd only use pet names as jokes, you know it makes me shy."

Tubbo grins. "Dont worry, it's all endearing and platonic I promise."

Ranboo sighs. "Well listen, about tonight-"

"Don't worry Boo, I have everything under control."

"Oh well that is a relief. I mus confess, I'm really rather nervous. You know darling, I still get a little tongue-tied." 

Tubbo looks a bit visibly taken aback before grinning madly. "Boo? After all this time?"

"There's an awful lot riding on this one Tubs, I'm afraid if this goes wrong, this may be the end."

Tubbo loses his grin. "W-well its just one night, no need to be so dramatic."

"Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the partner."

Tubbo seems to get a bit stutter, glancing over at Jack and doing a thumbs up. "And I think the best course of action is to impress the husband." Jack smiles and claps his hands towards him.

"Glad we are on the same page, until tonight then."

"Until tonight."

Tubbo gleefully puts the phone down and the screen fades to black.

A living room appears, still greyscale, as a toaster pops out two pieces of toast. A man suddenly walks into the frame.

"Is your husband tired of you burning his toast? Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000. It's the go to for clever housewives."

A woman appears in frame too. "Say, this machine has some shine."

"You said it. Set the dial and get the taste back into your toast."

The woman promptly lowers two pieces of bread into the device. She presses it down and an odd repulsor sound plays.

A clock noise counts into the backrgound as the man begins to talk. "Top and bottom heating elements can handle anything from meatloaf-" the ticking turns to beeping "-to cheery pie-" it gets louder "-to open faced cheese sandwiches."

The beeping is even louder and starts to speed up, beeping faster and faster like something is about to happen and th-

The toast pops up out of the toaster. The man closing the advert.

"The all new ToastMate 2000, by Slimecicle Industries. Forget the past, this is your future."

The screen cuts back to a night version of Tubbos home. Cutting back inside to show Ranboo welcoming in Fundy and another man next to him, noticeably shorter. As they step inside, all house lights are off, only dimly lit by candles. The room nearly impossible to see in. 

"Come make yourself at home."

"Oh!" the short man begins. "How very atmospheric"

The audience chuckles.

Fundy cuts in. "What's going on here Ranboo? Did you blow a fuse?"

Ranboo seems to awkwardly shuffle. "Pardon me while I just go and fetch the other man od the house." he walks into the kitchen, the door closing behind him.

The camera cuts back over to the living room, the married couple standing confused as Tubbo steps into frame, an odd white dress on him.

The audience cackles as Tubbo unknowingly steps forward towards Fundy, covering his eyes. "Guess who?"

Ranboo walks back in, flipping the light switch on. "Tubbo!"

Tubbo looks over, confused. "Ranboo?" he then gasps and backs away from Fundy.

The audience laughs again.

Fundy turns around clearly distraught. "What is the meaning of this?"

Ranboo snaps his fingers before beginning, "Well that is the uhm- traditional British greeting of hospitality!"

Tubbo nods and runs quickly over to Ranboo, the taller boy replicating the hand covering gesture. "Guess who?"

"Oh, is that my host behind me!"

"See, I forgot to tell you my husband is from Europe."

The audience laughs.

The other man speaks up again. "Oh, how exotic!"

"We don't break bread with the Briti-"

"Oh, hush, Fundy. Have you no culture at all?" the shorter man laughs again. "And that outfit!"

Ranboo shakes Tubbos hand "Yes! It's so-it's so um English is what it is."

Tubbo grins. "Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment Boo?"

"Oh, yes!" he frantically blows the candles out as the door shuts behind them.

Tubbo swivels around. "Who are those people?"

"What are you wearing?"

"Why are they here?"

"What. Are you wearing."

"Well, it's our anniversary!"

"Our anniversary of what?"

"Well if you don't know then I'm not going to tell you!"

Tubbo storms to the other side of the kitchen as Ranboo paces. "That man is my boss Mr. Hart and his husband 5up. The heart on the calender was an abbreviation."

Tubbo walks forward. "You can teleport at the speed of sound and I can make a pen fly through the air, who needs to abbrievate?!"

"Darling listen, it's all so sweet to do the candles, the music, that adorable outfit. I don't mean to sound unappreciative of how sweet you're being but-"

"Your boss and his husband are expecting a nice home cooked meal."

"Yes."

"W-well it's okay, are they like us or?"

"Purely romantic."

"Oh lord. Well, I think I have an idea."

Tubbo snaps his fingers and his dress transforms into a suit.

The music cues as the transition cuts out, showing 5up, Fundy, and Ranboo all sat on the coach in the living room.

"So I said, if we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically, we can use twice the paper, we can bill twice the cost."

Ranboo fakes a laugh, a bit confused. "You truly are a pioneer. But the larger purpose of the forms is?"

"Was to analyze our input and our output."

"Huh."

"You're awfully dense aren't you Ranboo."

The audience laughs.

It suddenly cuts to Tubbo in the kitchen, opening the door as Jack steps inside. "Oh Jack you're a life saver."

"Of course, what kind of husband would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for 4 lying around the place. Not that Grace ever wants to eat anything other than baked beans, which explains a lot about her personal appeal mind you." Jack turns to the right and accidentally knocks over a pair of loud metal crockery. "Oh my!"

It cuts back to the living room scene, Ranboo and 5up standing up at the same time and walking towards the kitchen. 

"Do you think Tubbo needs help in the kitchen? We haven't any tidbits or tartlets out here, nary a pig in a blanket." 

The audience laughs. 

"No that- that's so kind of you Mr Hart but I'm sure he's absolutely fine in there! 

The camera cuts back to Tubbo walking behind Jack and grabbing his shoulders.

"Well, thank you Jack but I got it covered from here."

"Oh are you sure dear. Many hands make light work, and many mouths make good gossip"

"Oh, haha, you're so naughty!"

"Oh, shall I just pre-heat the oven then, dear?"

"No, that really won't be necessary."

"Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap."

Jack begins to walk round the table, Tubbo nervously following.

"Lobster thermidor with mini-minced meat turnovers to start. Chicken a la King with twice cooked new potatoes for your second course, and steak diane and mint jellies for your main. Do you set your own jellies dear?"

Tubbo stands there, his eyes moving to the table before back to Jack. "Yes."

"Good lad, well I'm off, bon apetit."

The door closes behind Jack and Tubbo walks forward, lifting his hands into the air as all the shelves fly open and thousands of pots and pans fly out.

In the living room, the banging of the pots alerts 5up who stands and walks towards the kitchen. "You busy men stay here, I sense a domestic emergency."

Ranboo stands up suddenly too. "Mr Hart please don't, you cant- you... Please." 5up pulls the blind doors open on the kitchen counter top. Ranboo starts stuttering and stands up straight before starting to sing. "Yeah, take out the papers and the trash!"

5up and Fundy turn to him, visibly confused. Tubbo standing behind the doors that had just been open, pots flying through the air and starting at Ranboo, tilting his head. He remembers where he is and closes the doors as Ranboo continues.

"Or you won't get no spending cash! If you don't scrub the kitchen floor, you ain't gonna rock and roll no more!"

5up begins to awkwardly dance to the song.

"Yakety yak! Don't talk back."

The audience woos and 5up distracted again sits back down.

Ranboo gulps. "Well, why don't we have a nice singalong together?" he pulls out one of Tubbos ukeleles.

The audience laughs as the camera cuts back to Tubbo, focusing very hard on using his magic on the chicken infront of him.

He flicks his wrist and the chicken turns blackened and roasted.

He gasps. "Oh no, too much."

He flicks again and it turns into a basket full of eggs.

"Oh no, not enough!"

The audience laughs again, cutting back to Ranboo in the living room.

"Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Ee-I-Ee-I-O."

"And on that farm he had a-"

Ranboo turns around to Fundy, expecting him to continue the song but instead awkwardly staring.

".....Pig. Ee-I-Ee-I-O! With a-" 

"Oink oink." 

"Here, and a-" 

"Oink oink" 

"There-"

"Here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink, oink-" 

The singing fades to Tubbo in the kitchen looking incredibly distraught as he stares down at the basket of eggs. He looks up upon notice that all his pans have started shaking. "Oh- oh dear um. Oh, what was the main course again? What was I supposed to do?" 

He walks around, flipping through all of the recipe cards he has floating in the air. 

"It was... Steak... No, steak.... Steak..... Diane!!" 

Everyone in the living room pauses. Ranboo moving up. "Yes? Oh, I think that must be my husband summoning me." 

Fundy turns oddly. "He calls you Diane?" 

"Yes. It's his pet name for me. I'm just coming- Richard. Excuse me a moment."

Ranboo puts the ukelele down and jogs into the kitchen. 

As he walks in, Tubbo is carefully lifting two lobsters from a pot, Ranboo startles him and he accidentally sends them flying out the open window. 

They both stare at each other before Tubbo giggles slightly, Ranboo smiling. "Well, how can I be of assistance." 

Tubbo stifled his laugher. "Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just went to the next country along. So the steak is the last resort. It says here I can cut down prep time with a meat tenderizer." 

"Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?" 

"I'm looking at him." Tubbo with a stern face passes Ranboo a mallet. As Ranboo takes it, 5up opens the kitchen blind doors. 

"Hoo-hoo in there!" 

Tubbo jumps slightly and smiles going back over to the window. "Hoo-hoo back to you!" before closing them again. "Okay, finish the meat, find the lobsters, I'll be right back." 

Tubbo walks out into the living room, 5up greeting him. "I hope you're hungry, haha." 

Fundy grumbles. "Starved is more like it." 

"M-my head is starting to feel woozy."

Ranboo slams the mallet down hard, a loud banging echoing through the house.

All 3 in the living room look towards the kitchen, Tubbo scrambling. "Were either of you aware that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate?"

Fundy stares blankly, "What."

A rapid knock at the door.

Ranboo jogs out towards the door with Tubbo, opening it to see Jack holding a pineapple.

"Oh, you didn't answer the back door. For your upside down cake." he glances over and sees Ranboo, "Oh, hi Im-" the door closes again.

"Who was that?"

Ranboo and Tubbo jump in at the same time.

"A salesman!"

"Telegram! A man, selling telegrams."

"Wouldn't you know it. Good news is more expensive."

The other married couple looks awfully confused as Ranboo leans into Tubbo.

"Did you want the meat tender or pulverised?"

Tubbo stares. "Oh, dear." he skips past the Hart couple and into the kitchen.

"Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. Anyone for Parcheesi?"

5up starts stumbling. "My head is spinning."

"Oh, Mr Hart."

Fundy walks over. "You hear that? My husbands head is spinning. Generally speaking, I don't like his head to do that."

The audience laughs again as Tubbo is in the kitchen. "Welp, time to improvise."

"You know, I'm beginning to think you're not management material, Ranboo. You know I had high hopes for you." as they are talking to Ranboo, a group of plates with breakfast on them flies in through the blinds and onto a set table, wine being poured into the glass. "But from what I've seen here tonight, you can barely keep it together. I mean, it's all chaos here! When are we gonna eat?"

"Dinner is served."

Tubbo is smiling, shaking a tad next to the table.

Fundy stares. "Breakfast for dinner.... How very-"

5up cuts in "European."

They walk towards the table, Ranboo pulling 5ups chair back for him before pushing it back in.

As they sit down, 5up begins.

"So, where did you two move from? What brought you here? How long have you been married and why don't you have children yet?"

Tubbo seems to choke a bit on air before opening his mouth and then freezing.

Ranboo stares at him, a bit confused. "I think what my husband means to say is that we moved from......."

"Yes, we moved from......"

"And we were married...."

"Yes, we were married in...."

The couple seem very confused, staring at the table and fiddling their hands.

Fundy glances back and forth. "Well? Moved from where? Married when?"

"Now, patience Fundy, they're setting up their story let them tell it."

"We... Our story haha..."

"Yes, what exactly is your story?"

"Oh, just leave the poor kids alone."

"Well no, really, I think it's a perfectly simple question. Honestly, why did you come here? Why?"

Tubbo stares straight at Ranboo, his mouth wobbling.

Suddenly Fundy slams the table, Tubbo jumping and looking over to him. "Damnit why?! Why did you-" suddenly Fundy stops talking, holding his mouth up to his throat.

They all stop, staring at him.

He starts to make retching noises, as if hes choking. His expression getting more terrified.

"Oh, Fundy, stop it."

The distance from their faces has changed, showing them close up. The man continuing to choke in the background, scrambled breathing for air.

"Oh, stop it."

The camera cuts close to 5up.

"Stop it."

More gagging.

"Stop it."

Fundys face is aghast, eyes wide, mouth open, looking like he's silently screaming.

"Stop it."

Tubbo is shaking.

"Stop it."

The table shakes with him.

"Stop it."

Ranboo stares.

"Stop it."

5up looks over at Tubbo, still smiling gleefully.

"Stop it."

Haahaahaha

"Stop it."

It's hard to breathe it's hard to br-

"Stop it."

The table rattles and Fundy falls to the floor.

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

STOP IT 

STOP IT

STOP IT

STOP IT

STOP IT

STOP IT

STOP IT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

STOP IT

STOP IT

EHEHAHHEHA

STOP. IT.

STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT-

"Ranboo, help him!"

Ranboo jumps aside from the table, leaning down over Fundy, his hand turning people before reaching inside his throat, and pulling out what appears to be a strawberry.

The man takes a deep breath of air, gasping as Ranboo helps him stand back up. "Let me help you up. Give me your hand sir. All right, steady on sir."

Tubbo looks terrified as he stands up and moves around to them. "Are you quite alri-"

"Well, would you look at the time haha."

"Yes, we'd better get going."

Tubbo seems confused. "Well, are you both alright?"

"We had such a lovely time!" 5up goes behind Tubbo and covers his eyes. "This guest is leaving your house."

Tubbo laughs whole heartedly, trying to be polite. "Thank you for coming."

Fundy looks towards Ranboo. "You made me proud tonight son, first thing Monday morning, you and me are gonna have a little chat. We'll see about that promotion.

The audience woos as Ranboo looks elated.

"Yes sir! Thank you sir!"

Tubbo opens the door, Ranboo briefly thanking him. 5up turns towards the door. "Oh, what a charming doorknocker."

The lobster is on the door.

"Goodnight!"

The audience claps and woos as Tubbo closes the door.

The young couple exhales in relief. Ranboo turning his body back into his hybrid form.

"We are an unusual couple, ya know?"

Ranboo smiles. "Oh, I don't think that was ever in question."

"Well what I mean is... We don't have an anniversary. Or a song. Or even wedding rings."

Ranboo puts his arm around Tubbo as they both sit down on the couch. "Well, we could remedy that. Today could be our anniversary. Of the socially inept pair surviving their first dinner party. Our song could be?"

"Yakety Yak, naturally."

"Naturally."

They both look content.

"And the rings?"

"Well couldn't you make some for us?"

The pair hold out their hands. Tubbo doing a quick flick of the wrist as two rings appear on each of their hands. Simple and beautiful.

"I do. Do you?"

"Yes. I do."

They turn towards eachother smiling, soft music playing in the background.

Ranboo holds his hand. "And they lived happily ever after."

He leans in and rests his head against Tubbos. The music picking up to a beautiful peak. They turn their heads away and the audience clap and woo. The screen zooming out as the credit music begins to roll, framing the young couple perfectly in the centre.

It continues to zoom out as the aspect ratio increases, the music dimming as we screen out of the TV, showing a notebook being written in, as multiple screens around them showcase the show and a data analysis sheet. The notebook flips shut.

PLEASE STAND BY


	2. Don't Touch That Dial

The black fades out into a scene of a room. Tubbo and Ranboo in two separate beds, both asleep in the pale moonlight.

Suddenly a loud crash occurs outside, Tubbo sitting up in panic. "What was that."

He looks over to the light and it flips on. Another loud crash occurs. The light flips on and off. 

Suddenly, Ranboo pulls up his face mask.

"Tubbo."

"Yes?"

"Are we having power issues or are you using your powers on the light?"

"Yes."

"Allow me."

The boy stands up and walks over to the window, pulling aside the curtains and looking out them.

Tubbo glances too. "What do you see?"

"Only your garden."

"That's all? How odd."

"I assure you, there's nothing amiss, we have absolutely no reason to be-" the crash occurs again and Ranboo jumps and yells, teleporting himself back into his bed.

"You were saying?"

"Actually, I did hear a few of the boys at work prattling on about some new unsettling characters settling into the neighbourhood. Who knows what they could be up to. Robbing houses? Vandalising property?"

"Teleporting through walls, moving objects without touching them."

"Oh, Tubbo, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us."

The loud thud occurs again and they both gasp and jump.

Tubbo accidentally flicks his wrist and their beds are pulled closer together.

"One of us should really find that sound."

Tubbo looks over angrily. "Yes! One of us, should!"

The crash again.

"Oh this is getting ridiculous!" Tubbo flicks his hand and the blinds uncurl.

"Oh, god, Darling!"

Oh.

They see it is just a branch banging against the window.

They both tilt their heads.

"Well, I think we handled that well."

"Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. Look how you seized the opportunity to redecorate."

Tubbo smiles. "This is better isn't it?"

"I think so."

Tubbo flicks his hand again and the two beds become one.

Tubbo let's out a sigh of exhaustion and lays on Ranboos chest. "I'd rather hear your heartbeat like this anyways."

Ranboo smiles softly and it fades to black.

A cartoon moon is shown as the opening music begins to play, the stars twinkling to the piano.

"Tubbovision!"

An odd cartoonish piano plays the same melody.

"Tubbovision!"

The same melody, on a trumpet.

"Tubbovision!"

"Tu-Tubbovision!"

"Tubbovision!"

"Tu-tubbovision!"

"Tubbovision!"

"Tu-tubbovision!"

"TUBBOVISION!"

The world fades back into Ranboo, stood in the living room with a magicians outfit on.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, I bring you the Cabinet Of Mysteries!"

He flicks the wand he has in hand towards a corner of the room.

Silence.

"Darling, that's your cue."

Tubbos voice cuts through. "Did you say Cabinet Of Mysteries"

Ranboo sighs. "I said THE Cabinet Of Mysteries."

Tubbo starts to push a heavy cabinet from behind the stairs. "Here I am."

Ranboo visibly stifles at the sight of the thing. "Good lord its almost as tall as me. Tubs, so all the acts have such elaborate props."

Tubbo deadpans. "Are you kidding? Henry and Clementine are building a moat and a fully functioning portcullis and no one even knows why. Let's keep going."

Ranboo frowns. "I thought you'd certainly be the one to go for the more chaotic approach."

Tubbo grins slyly.

Ranboo stares.

"Okay well, where was I? Uh- watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, make my wonderful assistant, Glamour, disappear."

Tubbo does a little bow before stepping into the box, the audience chuckling. "You really are very dashing."

Ranboo blushes. "Get in the box."

"Calm down, calm down. Next part?"

Ranboo moves over to the cabinet, holding onto the door. "Fear not Galmour, for I, Illusion, vow to bring you back exactly as you once were."

Tubbo does a mocking little "oooo" as Ranboo closes the door with a bit more aggression than needed. "Abracadabra!"

Vision opens the box, empty inside. "Ta-t-Tubbo?! Where did you go?!"

Tubbo flips the cabinets hidden compartment around clapping and grinning at Ranboo. "Worried?"

"Oh shut up or I'll lock you in there."

"You better not be hitting on me."

"Tubbo!"

"Pff- fine. Well, what do you think?"

Ranboo pulls his magicians hat off and studies the cabinet walls. "Well um, you're not at all worried that people will see through our act?"

"Well that's the point, in a real magic act everything is fake."

"That's ironic."

The audience laughs.

Tubbo suddenly straightens up a bit, Ranboo noticing his change in demeanor does the same.

"Well I was just thinking its- this talent show fundraiser thing- it's the most important event for this town. It's our duty to paritipate and I figured it's our chance to appear as normal as we can while doing so."

Ranboo slips back into mocking. "Well, I don't think that should be a problem." he gestures towards his half split face.

Tubbo sighs and Ranboo fixes his little slip.

"This is our home now. I want us to- fit in."

Ranboo doesn't miss Tubbos nervous chuckle and the boys face softens. He walks over to Tubbo and puts his hands in his. "Oh, bee, we do." he smiles "We shall."

Tubbo laughs again into Ranboos collar.

"And of course we will knock their socks off, especially with you wearing this."

Ranboo lifts a part of an odd vest that's sequined heavily.

"Oh, actually that's part of your costume."

"Oh!" Ranboo holds it up to his body to examine, the piece barely fitting his torso.

Tubbo looks down at his watch. "Well Boo I better be off, Jack was very certain about me not missing this planning committee meeting."

"Its me off as well actually, there's a gathering of the neighborhood watch at the public library, after last night's incident I wanna make sure we are safe and secure. This towns security should be up to snuff."

"Well that's a swell idea, you show those tree branches who's boss."

Ranboo laughs at Tubbos poor joke. "Would you look at us. Ranboo and Tubbo, Westview fitter inners."

Tubbos sly grin reappears. "I'll see you at curtain call."

The transition cuts to Tubbo seemingly later in the day fluffing pillows. Before a loud bang occurs outside. The young boy quickly perks up, concern evident on his face. 

He walks outside the house, the full scale of how grey and dull everything is really showing. Which made his next discovery all the more obscene. 

He walks down his lawn, looking around for any sort of object or source of noise before his eyes land on something red in a bush. Startling red. Blood red. Accents of yellow too. 

He walks over to the bush, cautiously before picking up what appeared to be a toy helicoptor. It was hard and metal, looked oddly shimmery. The red even more stunning to him than before. 

He picked it up by the tail of the bush, a look of fear he could feel on his face. It was so close, it was so bright. A sword logo on it. Why was it here, what was it doing, why was the audience so quiet and-

"Look, its the star o' the show!" 

Jack appears beside Tubbo. The boy jumps and drops the helicoptor back into the bush. 

The audience laughs at Jack's joke. 

"Oh, Jack, good heavens. I'm sorry, what did you say?" 

"Oh, I brought my pet rabbit. For your magic act." 

A look of realisation crosses Tubbos face. "Oh, of course. Thank you Jack. We will take good care of him." 

The boy picks the rabbit up by the handle of his cage and carries him towards the house. 

"Senor Scratchy just loves the stage. He played baby Jesus in last years Christmas pageant." 

Tubbo looks confused. "Oh."

The audience laughs.

The camera stays on Jack while Tubbo puts the bunny in his house. "Oh, morning Dennis."

"Morning, Jack."

Jack does finger guns towards the man. "Stick em up!"

"Don't shoot, I'm just a messanger!"

The audience and Agnes laugh.

"Pew-pew!"

Jack laughs before watching the mailman walk by and staring at him a tad. "Mm, not bad."

The audience laughs.

Tubbo hurries back over. "Shall we?"

Jack takes his arm. "Oh, we shall."

The two walk away from Tubbos house, the younger boy sighing in relief.

Jack began speaking.

"So, are you ready to meet Queen Cuk de Sac and her Merry Homemakers?"

Tubbo and the audience laugh.

"Jack, Hannah can't be as bad as you say."

"Hmm, well you'll notice for someone with the last name Rose, hers sure do bloom under penalty of death."

Tubbo scoffs teasingly.

"Tubbo, can I give you a bit of friendly advice?"

"Is it about the way I'm dressed?"

"Yes, but it's too late for that."

The pair stop in front of Hannahs house, Jack taking Tubbos hands in his. "Hannay is the key to everything in this town. Country club memberships, parties, school admissions-"

"Oh let's not get ahead of ourselves."

The audience laughs.

"You get in with Hannah and it'll be smooth sailing from here on it. Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine."

"Or maybe I could be myself? More or less?"

Jack stares blankly.

The audience laughs.

"Oh Tubbo thats a good one!"

Suddenly a woman walks out the door in a dress.

"Everybody hurry up please!"

Jack turns around suddenly. "Hiya, Hannah! Your roses are divine."

"Well, thank you."

Jack turns around, rolling his eyes and sighing deeply at Tubbo before the two put on a fake smile and walk forward in each others arms.

Suddenly a transition to a pool, Jack, Tubbo, Hannah, and a group of ladies and men sitting around.

"The Rotary Club is finishing the stage set up as we speak. They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint-"

Tubbo is replicating everything Hannah does, seemingly to impress her. He plops a bit of ice into his drink with a scoop.

"-and will be installing the final decorations all throughout town square and if you recognise the antique footlights, it's because they're all from my store."

Hannah cuts in the woman's ramblings.

"And the chairs?"

"I'm sorry, Hannah. I didn't ask about the chairs."

"So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future."

Most of the women laugh as Jack and Tubbo sit there staring perplexed.

"The devil's in the details Bev."

Jack leans over to Tubbo. "That's not the only place he is."

Tubbo airs a hand towards Jack, mocking a fly swatter as the older boy grins.

Hannah continues. "As you all know, the talent show is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary."

Jack was turning to Bev and holding a flask of, knowing Jack, was most likely vodka. "This might help."

The audience laughs as Bev takes the flask with a grin.

"In the eight years since I've founded our little club, this event has gotten bigger and better every season."

The camera cuts back to Tubbo and a boy sitting next to him.

Tubbo takes notice and feels his stomach do an odd swoop of some sort. He's seemingly blonde in the black and grey, his hair appearing an odd white. He's tall and lanky, quite pale too. Something about his eyes. They're so famili-

the camera is here

"Say, those pants are peachy keen."

"P-pardon?"

The boy was speaking to him, grinning mischievously.

"I said those pants are cool big man."

Tubbo fixed his posture.

"Do you really think so? Everyone else was wearing dresses or shorts, I thought suit pants would be too over the top."

Before the boy can respond, Hannah interrupts. "We only have a few hours till show time, so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus. All of this, is for the children."

All the people talk in sync. "For the children."

Tubbo swallows the water he just drunk quickly. "For the children!"

They all stare at him.

Hannah continues. "So, I want you all to give yourself a big hand-"

Tubbo in panic quickly claps his hands.

They all stare.

"-at the appropriate time, of course."

Tubbo freezes.

The audience laughs.

"But first let's review event etiquette. Dress code is upscale garden party-"

Hannah trails off as the camera moves back to Tubbo and Tommy, the taller boy leaning over. "Sorry big man, the only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move."

Tubbo laughs.

"I actually don't know what I'm doing here."

"I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Tubbo."

"I'm uh... T-Timothy hah."

"Hi" the small boy grins and so does Timothy.

"And I'm irritated." Hannah grins at them, teeth bare. "Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. Now you can clap!"

Everyone claps this time.

"And stop."

Jack sighs exasperated. "Really, how is anybody doing this sober."

The audience laughs as the camera cuts to the Westview public library. Ranboo hopping up the stairs and into the building.

In the room is a bunch of men, Ranboo seemingly only recognises Dan from his work and that man Connor. They're deep in conversation.

Ranboo awkwardly shuffles in. "Pardon me. Is this the neighbourhood watch meeting."

The conversation pauses as they all stare at him.

"Oh, hiya Ranboo." Dan speaks up. "Didn't expect to see you here. This is sort of a 'members only' type deal."

"Ah! Certainly. Right. Well um- I'll just sit here and be as quiet as a mouse until you open up for new business."

A woman speaks up. "Well in truth, we were just getting into new business."

Ranboo jumps excitedly. "Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols? How often are threats such as burglary and vandalism dealt with?"

Dan spoke up. "No, Ranboo."

"I know these are indeed grave matters."

"New business actually means another round of Danish."

The audience laughs.

Connor speaks up, lifting a box. "Raspberry or cheese-filled?"

Ranboo tilts his head. "Oh, neither for me thank you. I don't eat food."

Dan and the woman stare at him perplexed.

"What I meant to say is that I only eat with my husband at certain mealtimes. My apologies. I'm a regular eating machine."

The woman turns towards the table grinning. "Well fellas, I got some too secret intelligence for you."

"Oh, excellent."

"Now you know how Johnsons been braggin' about that tree house he built for his kids?"

Connor spoke. "Yeah?"

"It's a prefab job."

The audience laughs.

"That blockhead can't even swing a hammer."

Dan joins in too. "I can do you one better. You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? He bought em all at a yard sale in Hackensack."

"I knew it. I've never once seen him down at those lanes."

Ranboo began. "I too have some top secret gossip to share."

They all look up expectantly.

"Dan here's a communist."

They all look at Dan, before laughing out loud.

Connor turned to the tall boy. "Ranboo, you're a real cut-up."

Dan turned to him too. "You know, I always thought you were kind of a square."

"Me? No, I'm as round as they come."

They all laugh and the woman next to him holds out a piece of gum. "Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red?"

Dan points towards her. "Well hold on there Puffy, didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food."

Connor turns. "Is gum food?"

Ranboo unravels it. "Well my understanding is that it's purely for mastication."

Puffy spluttered. "O-oh nah I don't do that."

The audience laughs.

Ranboo shrugs. "Well, cheers."

Dan laughs. "Who knew you were such a funny guy."

Puffy grinned. "And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols. You're cool son."

Puffy pats his back and Ranboo chokes a bit. The gum going getting jammed in a certain part of Ranboos ender organs.

"He's funny." Puffy straightened up. "All right, back to this barbeque."

The scene cuts once again to the pool from earlier. A song playing through a radio on a glass table.

Tubbo is seen speedwalking to another table with a tray full of plates on it, clearly exhausted. Hannah sits in the background.

"That is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach."

Tubbo tries to smile. "Golly, you're a whiz at all this committee stuff Hannah. Thank you for choosing me to help you clean up today, I feel so lucky." he turns back around, putting more plates onto the desk and the tray.

"You are."

Tubbo pulls a face while Hannah is examining her nails. Before sighing and turning around.

"I can't help but wonder if you and I have gotten off on the wrong foot Hannah. I would like to correct that if I can."

"And how would you do that?"

Tubbo nervously chuckles, clearly confused.

Hannah stands up, face steeled.

"I've heard things about you. You and your husband."

Tubbos face scrunches up slightly before it relaxes. "Well, I don't know what you've been told, but I promise you we don't mean anyone any harm."

...

...

"I don't believe you."

Suddenly Tubbo can feel himself again. The radio on the table is heavy with static. It's so loud in his ear. Everything is so loud.

Through it he can hear quiet mumbles of what he thinks is a young woman.

"Tubbo. Tubbo, can you read me, over?"

He can feel his heart clammering in his chest. Why is it so loud?!?!

"Tubbo?"

Hannah stares. "Who is that?"

"Tubbo" 

Tubbo can't answer- he can't its- what is wrong with him its-

"Who are you?!"

GOD ITS SO LOUD WHY IS IT SO LOUD

"Tubbo?"

Help him help him please oh god oh god-

"Tubbo? Who is doing this to you Tubbo?"

HELP ME PLEASE

"TUBBO? TUBBO? TUB-"

The radio sound cuts out as the radio explodes in a short puff of fire and smoke, the glass in Hannahs hand shattering into a thousand pieces as she cries out in pain.

Tubbo gasps too, looking over to her hand.

Hannah opens it and a deep blood red is stained into the dark world.

"Hannah! You-oh god! Are you okay?"

Tubbo runs over to get a towel from the trays. Hannah let's him wrap it around her bleeding hand before putting her hand over his.

"Pop quiz, Tubbo?"

Tubbo is taken aback, the audience laughing.

"How does a partner get a bloodstain out of white linen? By doing it herself."

Hannah smiles, fully and more genuine than she had all day. Leaving Tubbo in an instant.

The young boy very confused. He starts to move as the screen fades to black.

"They say a man is never fully dressed without two important accessories."

A man is shown adjusting the bow tie on his suit in a mirror. A woman in a black dress comes behind him and adjusts his vest.

"His special lady." the man pulls up his sleeve to reveal a watch. "And his Schlatt."

They walk away, arm in arm, fading to show the watch close up.

A mysterious logo is in the centre. A ram skull surrounded by tentacles. An imprint of "Hydra 1000m" on it.

It begins to tick impatiently.

"Schlatt. He'll make time for you."

The clock speeds up before a final chime and the ad fades out.

As it fades back in, a young couple is dancing with a cane and suit on stage, the woman holding the young mans hand as they dance around each other before they let go and continue.

Another show of a cowboy and cowgirl dancing with a pair in a horse suit. Another with a man playing piano swiftly, Connor actually.

Behind the curtain Timothy cackles to himself. "Glad I'm not the act going on after this guy."

Tubbo spins around in an odd suit. The sequined jacket from the morning and long gloves on, along with some shorts and kneesocks. "Huh? W-what?"

Timothy turned around and froze. "Oh no, you're gonna be great."

Tubbo shudders and starts pacing the stage. "Oh god where could he be-"

"Your husband? Gee he's this late? What a lousy sod, I have half the mind to-"

"No no Tim, he's usually excellent with these things."

"Bet he is. Bet he's short too, short men are the weak link yknow big man."

"But Tim Im-"

"You're an exception."

Suddenly Ranboo comes round the corner, in his full magician outfit and looking albeit, rather drunk. He wobbles up the stairs to the platform.

Tim turns, his previous anger dissipating into pity. "Is that him? Good lord- it looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddy-up."

Ranboo stands up and nearly falls backwards, Tim grabbing his hand and pulling him back forward. "Tubbo, my little cabbage, you look brilliant!"

Tubbo steps forward, mouth agape. "What is happening."

"Wha?"

"Boo, where have you been?"

"Me and the boys were playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes."

"T-the boys?"

"No that's not it. Shoe horses! No. Ah! Horses shoes."

Tubbo grabs his hand. "Um Boo, something strange happened with Hannah. Something strange happened before that too but it was-"

"I was just playing with his shoes!"

Ranboo was pointing at the previous acts horse.

Tubbo grew exasperated. "What is going on?"

Tim turned around. "You are!"

"Wh-"

The camera changes to Hannah on the outside stage. "I want to thank you all for coming out to support Westview Elementary. For the children."

"For the children" the crowd responded.

"And for our final act- I give you, Tubbo and Ranboo!"

The audience claps excitedly as Tubbo ushers out from behind the curtain. His suit and magic hat making him look rather posh. He confidently strides forward, before swooping his arm towards the curtains again, attempting to show Ranboo that his cue was on.

Nothing happens.

The audience laughs as the magic show audience looks around confused. Tubbo looks back and forth nervously.

"Hey! Hey! Oi, man. You're up!" behind the stage Timothy is trying incredibly hard to get Ranboo to pay attention.

Ranboo is stuffing his shirt into his pants absentmindedly. "What?"

Timothy stares at him deadpan and gestures again towards the curtain.

"Oh! Yeah! I've got to go!"

He burst through the curtains. "Hello Westview!" Tubbo watches in horror as his husband bumps into a pole and then proceeds to apologise to it. "I am Glamour and this is my wonderful assistant, Illusion."

"I'm Glamour and he is Illusion."

The studio audience chuckles.

"Yeah what he said."

Tubbo coughs awkwardly.

"Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because humans are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe. Flourish!" 

Tubbo is visibly trying not to scream in laughter, but with Ranboo being like this, he has to be responsible. "You just do it, you don't say it out loud hon." 

Ranboo scoffs and walks towards the left side of the stage. "And now my husband I will delight in your dumbstruck little faces."

Tubbo tries very hard to hide his little upturn of his face and smirk. 

"Flourish!"

Ranboo begins to float steadily upwards, odd grey particles coming off him. The shows audience gasps and stares at him with a look of perplexion.

Tubbo quickly looks back and forth between Ranboo and the audience before flicking his wrist and a long wooden loop attached to a rope lift appear, holding the tall boy up.

Dan in the audience grins. "See there, he's using a rope."

Tubbo begin cranking the rope, in an attempt to ground Ranboo. The older boy complaining all the while. "Tubbo, what's.... Oh, no! Oh! No! Tubbo, please! Good lord, let me down! I feel like I'm gonna throw up!"

The audience laughs at Ranboos complaints while pointing at him. Finally Tubbo manages to crank Ranboo to ground level. The audience applause, Jack and Puffy clapping the hardest.

"W-whats next?"

"Oh, Boo, its actually-"

"Oh, I got it! Watch, this is gonna be great."

The tall boy walks over to the piano on the left hand of the stage, lifting it up with absolutely no effort. "A staggering feet of strength!"

The audience gasps in confusion, wondering how someone so young could be so strong.

Tubbo rushes over. "Ah, Illusion, um.... Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me."

"Yeah?" Ranboo pouts as Tubbo takes the piano off him. "What? Oh cmon..."

Tubbo uses a quick bit of magic to turn the piano into a cardboard cut out, the audience taking that as reality and laughing. "Woops, you weren't supposed to see how we did that trick!"

Connor frowns in the audience. "That was my grandmother's piano."

Ranboo walks around confused. "Oh, Poofy, my old mate Poofy! Stand up Poofy say hello to the crowd."

Ranboo puts his top hat down and walks over to Puffy, the woman standing up a bit embarrassed. "My names Puffy."

"Pipe down Poof and pick a card. Any card."

He turns around as Puffy picks a card out, brandishing his hands behind his back. "0ut it in back in that deck, I ain't looking. All right, watch this."

He slaps the cards together and pulls one out, "Is this your card?" the confident grin on his face is terrifying.

"Uh, no."

"I beg to differ."

"Uh, no hon."

"Oh okay, this one?"

"Nope"

Tubbo stares down at the pair, his usual manic energy replaced with exhaustion.

Ranboo goes through about 5 more cards before pulling out one more methodically. "Is this your card?"

Puffy stares for a moment. "Hon, I don't think you're-"

Ranboo flicks through rapidly until he ends up getting to the end of the pack, his hair is dishevelled and he looks angry. "Is this your card?!"

"Oh, it is! It's my card!"

"Well, pardon me, Puffy. Have it back." Ranboo shoves the card into Puffys chest before walking back onto stage.

"But you did it right?"

"Of course I did it right I'm Illusion, Flourish!"

Tubbo sighs deeply, his hands crossed together.

"Wait, who stole my hat."

"Good lord."

A rabbit begins to run across the stage after appearing from Ranboos discarded top hat. The taller boy flips around. "Woah! Stop that rabbit, I gotta pull a hat out of it."

Tubbo picks up the rabbit gently, walking over to his husband and smiling softly.

Jack calls out from the audience. "Senor Scratchy has real star quality, don't you think?"

Tubbo laughs a bit before clearing his throat. "Perhaps we leave the bunny out of this one."

Ranboo grabs his hat and walks towards the centre. "Behold, as I pull this hat out of myself!"

The tall boy pushes the hat through him, phasing parts of his body through it as it passes. This clearly seems to exhaust the boy to some extent but he grins happily with himself once he's done.

The audience squint at Ranboo, Tubbo briefly panicking. "If only you all knew our secret."

He moves his hands and the curtain pulls back, revealing a set of mirrors. The audience laughs at this, somehow believing the impossible trick to be of work.

A woman leans into Hannah. "Is that how mirrors work?"

"Shut up Bev."

Ranboo applauds himself, straightening his jacket. "For our final trick, I bring you, the Magnet of Cryteries!"

"Cabinet of Mysteries."

"Yeah, yeah. What he said."

He flourishes his little wand, forgetting the small detail of Tubbo not actually being in the cabinet yet after he wheeled it on. "I will now make my husband.... Disappear!"

"Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer names, my wife Grace?"

The rest of the audience laughs along with Jack, Ranboo joining in too very briefly. "No. Abracadabra!"

Tubbo grins, grabbing Ranboos hand. "Sweetheart."

"Hm?"

"Hi."

"Oh...."

The two look towards the audience, waiting for a negative reaction. Instead they began to chant "What's in the box?" over and over.

Tubbo clenches his fingers tight and claps them together quickly. The boy looks extremely exhausted.

The husbands open it together and Timothy is inside, still clutching his checklist. He looks extremely scared for a moment before stepping outside to see Tubbo and smiling, joining in the audiences laugher if only a tad confused.

The other two grab Timothy's hands and bow with him, the three receiving a large round of applause. Ranboo then let's go of Tim and ducks around to Tubbo, grabbing the boys arm and running behind stage, apologising profusely.

"I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry, I don't know what's happening!"

"Boo, it's alright. But what is going on with you?"

"I don't know, I feel awful."

Tubbo flexes his hands and runs then down Ranboos body, almost like an xray, before freezing at his chest and making a disgusted face.

"Theres something goopy attached to your enderman organs."

"That's disgusting."

"God I know. Hang on Boo I got this."

He moves his hand delicately upwards, extracting the gum from earlier up out of Ranboos mouth.

Ranboo gasped in some fresh air, staring at the piece of gum in his hand. "What on earth."

"Oh thank god you're back."

The shorter boy jumps into Ranboos arms, visibly relaxing once in them.

"Pff, missed you Tubs, even if I never really left."

The shorter boy gets off and pouts slightly. "Shut up Boo, but we better leave before Hannah yells at us for ruining the show."

The two begin to walk down the street, before a voice stops them. "You two, hold it right there!"

The pair look over guiltily, getting ready to make a run when Hannah surprises them. "You're so hilarious! You're brilliant! It was one of the best acts we've ever seen, wouldn't you all agree?"

The crowd claps and woops in agreement, Hannah beckoning the two on stage and they follow.

"I would like to award you two with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the Year."

"Oh my, thank you so much."

Ranboo ruffles his husbands hair and the pair grin and bow together towards the audience, Timothy standing to the side. Tubbo beckons him over and Ranboo moves aside so that Timothy is in the middle, the boy grinning as they all bow together.

"I have to ask. One second in backstage and in the next, I'm in that dark cabinet. How did you do it?" the boy grins mischievously with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

Ranboo grins back. "Oh a magician never reveals his secrets, he leaves that to his assistant."

Tubbo turns cheekily. "And he's never talking."

Timothy glances between the two. "Well it would've been pretty cool if I knew, but I did have a feeling you'd say that."

The scene finally cuts to Tubbo and Ranboo entering the house, the taller spinning the younger in with a dance. "You were tremendous Tubs."

"As we're you, Boo."

They walk away from the door, Tubbo sitting down on the coach with their trophy in hand. "I really don't know what I was so worried about, it wasn't so hard to fit in after all."

Ranboo sits down with him. "Well imagine how they would've reacted if you let yourself free back there, I could tell how much you wanted to cause some havoc."

"Oh you know me so well Boo. Mm how about popcorn right now?"

"Sure Bee- woaaaaaah."

"What is it?"

The taller boy gestures towards Tubbos pocket, the shorter boy taking a small letter out of it.

It's plain white, no address either. Simply addressed to Tubbo and Ranboo of the Bee n Boo household. Tubbo opens it with a bit of cautiousness, gasping at the inside.

The letter is written neatly, saying that the two are going to become parents, parents! To a child! That would arrive soon!

The audience coos. 

Ranboo stands up, he's elated. He's shaking and grinning wildly, grabbing Tubbos hands in his own.

Tubbo however, pauses slightly, trepidation slipping into his face. "Boo, is this really happening?"

Ranboo cups his face. "Yes my love, it's really happening."

Before the two can lean in for their typical show of affection, a loud bang resounds from outside. Ranboo straightens.

"If it's that damn tree again, I am going to rip it out by the roots!"

The audience chuckles.

The pair walk outside to investigate, looking around wildly as they walk towards the gate to their house.

"I don't see anything."

They walk outside the gate and suddenly freeze, looking down the street.

A grate is moving, a sewer grate to be specific. It's being shifted upwards and outwards, the noise it's making grating Tubbos ears.

Ranboo comes closer to Tubbo. "What is that?"

Suddenly, a hand pulls itself out the hold the grate left, pulling the body with it and revealing a beekeeper. He has a logo on his back, its something so familiar to Tubbo.

The camera is close up, Tubbos face showing fear and panic, before cutting back to show the beekeeper turning around, staring straight at the married pair.

Tubbo stares back.

"No."

the tape clicks

WHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110110 01111001 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100000 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100111 01101111

WHIIIIIrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

the tape clicks shut

"Boo, is this really happening?"

"Yes my love, its really happening."

The two lean in, their foreheads touching close as the audience aw's at them.

As Tubbo leans away, he seems shocked, reaching his hand up to Ranboos face. As the camera cuts around, we see the taller boys bright green and red eyes.

Colour......

"Ranboo.. Your eyes theyre-"

The entire room begins to turn, every wall and item being smothered in bright colours, covered by a slight red tint as it does so.

The pair chuckle and lean in together smiling happily, in the world full of colour. The ending logo closing around them.

tubbo? who's doing this to you tubbo?


End file.
